How to Improve Your Communication with your Child with Autism or ADHD

We think we all know how to communicate. At the very basic level, we use verbal communication, which are the words we speak to our kids. And then we use non-verbal communication – which can be ” in a look” we give them,  our hand gestures , it can be in the emotions we are experiencing while we speak to them,  and yes, it can be in the energy we “give off” to them as we are experiencing our own emotions. Let’s look at this one more closely.  What if I’m telling my child it’s time to get ready for school, and I have an irritated voice because I know we’re going to be late? Or more subtly, maybe I am trying my best to hold in all my angst inside of me for one reason or another, and I’m being super sweet to them with my words? We know that our kids feel energy of all of this and more- the underlying meanings, the energy that our words are giving and the energy that our non-verbal communication especially, is giving to them.  When they experience this kind of energy, they typically react to it.  Why we are expecting to get a different result when we continue to experience all kinds of emotions inside of us,  when they are so sensitive to our energies ? It’s silly! Today, I want to give you 3 tips that you can use in your communication with your child, that can help bring you closer to providing that unconditional love, and emotional and energetic well-being that we all want for ourselves and our children.  

1.  As parents or caregivers, please take care of yourself first! This can be hard for many of us – but if we can find ways to manage our stress that work for us – meditation, yoga, a walk outside, a run, a few minutes of calming deep breaths….put this in your calendar and GO! I know I can have the best intentions for my day, but unless I put it into my calendar, it often doesn’t occur. When we can take care of ourselves, when we can have a calmer energy around our kids, and they can be calm, happy and peaceful around us and towards us. They don’t automatically sense our anxiety, stress, or frustration, and respond to it similarly or by reacting to it in some way.   

2. Much of OUR own reactions to situations comes from our attitudes!  I know we all know this, but practicing it is the key.  When we communicate to our children both verbally and non-verbally, if we can do our best to be light-hearted, have a kind of playfulness within the conversation without being attached to a specific outcome, this will help us to have a more positive, calm attitude towards things as they happen. If we can be kind to ourselves and our children by accepting them the way they are, and the way they are not; and accepting ourselves the way we are and are not, this will also go a long way towards giving us a great attitude and energy to share with our children. Another way is to be easy to forgive your child and often, more importantly, yourself. By doing this, you’ll help set up a more relaxed and positive attitude for yourself, which will ultimately impact your child’s interactions with you.  

3. The way we speak to our children creates a specific energetic environment around them which impacts their emotional well-being. So praise your child for all the wonderful things they ARE! Did you catch that? Yes, praise them for who they ARE! Not just when they are doing good things or behaving well.  But for who they are! There is a subtle but large difference here, and I hope you caught it.  They are perfect just the way they are, and they can be experiencing challenging symptoms from autism or ADHD. They are not their symptoms!. Your child is a beautiful spirit created for a beautiful purpose, and a higher purpose in this world. Remember this just before you react to your child the next time their sensitivities are getting to them and to you, and know that they are doing the best they can and….they don’t have to struggle with these symptoms.  

Your attitude, your way of being with them, the energy you create by caring for yourself first and them too, of course, helps to set the energy around your child to a better one than perhaps they have had in a long time. As you know, I teach in my online workshop that there are 3 pillars that influence a child’s symptoms – the way you communicate to your child both verbally and non-verbally is one that impacts their emotional well-being and energetic environment for your child. And yes, you are able to influence your own behaviour. You don’t have to react to things. It takes some practice, but when you can forgive, accept, let go, and just BE in conversation with your child without focusing on an outcome, you are more likely to have a better attitude (a more even emotional base no matter what is going on around you) and you’ll respond to others in a more calm and peaceful way – which is great for your own health, and wonderful for the health of your child.

My name is Tina Bishai. I’m a mother of two beautiful children and I am also a health professional. I have Bachelors Degrees in Human Biology and Physical Therapy, as well as a Masters Degree in Business Administration. After working in the corporate world for over 20 years, I began following my heart and studied alternative medicine, after which time I became a Reiki Master and Shaman.

As the founder of Golden Healings, now my mission is to help children living with autism and ADHD address problematic symptoms they may be experiencing through a holistic approach, addressing all elements that impact a child’s well-being – emotional, physical and energetic elements.

My goal is to see each and every child have the ability to authentically connect with others in this world, without having to deal with the myriad of symptoms they may be struggling with on a daily basis. I believe that children with autism and ADHD are unique and beautiful gifts who have the ability to function at a level they have not necessarily achieved before. I have seen such positive transformations with children’s symptoms, and I invite you to visit my free online workshop where you can learn about the three main influencers to your child’s symptoms and behavioural challenges. I have healed my own child and others with this methodology. Please visit, and provide your name and email address for instant access to the workshop.

If there are specific topics you would like me to address in my blogs, please email me at and I would be happy to write about them.

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